Okay, so I haven't posted in forever. As I have said before, I am a failure at life. During my break from this blog, I have come to realize three very important truths pertaining to my life: 1) I will never be skinny enough, 2) I will never be pretty enough, and 3) I will never be able to have a functional relationship because I am mildly misanthropic. The thing is, though, I was never really bothered by the fact that I hate people. It's only recently that I've noticed that I'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life if I don't change this part of me. And I don't really know what it is that makes me hate them, I just kind of do. It's really been getting to me physically too. I feel abnormal and uncomfortable everyday at school. I never used to have a problem with my singularity, but now I also feel like I can't emotionally connect to the few people that I do like.
And, as for 1 and 2, I always seem to come up short of the pretty, skinny girl that every guy wants to be with. But not just on that end of the spectrum either. It seems like
everything I do these days is just never enough. Grades, sports, singing. They all just melt together to form one big blob of
insufficiency.
...i could just melt away with them...
